On Time and Fulfillment

Hey all,

While we were in Tahoe, I was reading/finishing a book called The Happiness Project. All in all, it was pretty fantastic and you should all read it. I'm sure some of you may hate it - maybe it's too simplistic, too critical, etc., etc. However, what I really loved about this book is that, as she puts it, she wanted to 'change [her] life without actually changing it.' In other words, no spiritual journey to India or exotic trip to Northern Africa or jungle adventure in Brazil. Just trying to make the best of what she had by changing the way she looked at life. The book boiled down to a few general points: more patience, more laughing, less excuses.

It was really a year long study in mindfulness - How am I spending my time? How do I react to criticism/sarcasm/jokes directed at me? How often do I laugh? Do I really not have time to do that? Do I really want to do that? It's  a book that asks us to question what our values and pleasures are and then asks us to act upon it. Do you like reading? Do it more! Do you like a clean sink? Clean it for YOU, not because of the praise you'll be expecting later. She ultimately comes to many conclusions, but a few still stand out to me:
- Understand your motivation - are you doing something because you expect praise, or because you want to do it?
- Re-framing things (this is directly linked with the the example above) often produces happiness because it puts you in charge of your own happiness instead of resting it upon the expectation of thanks or praise. For example, "I love a clean sink so I'm going to clean these dishes!" Re-framing can also work in times where one feels tired or unmotivated. Often if you tell yourself that you're awake and ready to go, you'll trick your body into a little bit more energy.
- 15 minutes is a long time and you can get a lot done. I struggle with this one a lot. Sometimes if I only have an hour or only have 15 minutes, I waste it away. Even waking up 15 minutes (or more) earlier can provide a great opportunity to get stuff done, if you are a morning person.
- Make time for the people and things you love. Call them, write to them, try to figure out a way to stay in touch with them. They make our lives better.


On a similar note, we're in a series in my church called Time, Treasure, and Talent. Last week, our pastor had a really fantastic sermon on Time where he addressed some of the topics that were in The Happiness Project. How are we spending our time? What are our apparent values based on how we spend our time? It's about a 45 minute sermon, with the first few minutes being a song you'll all recognize.

Here's the video:
http://theaterchurch.com/media/video/redeem-the-time/

I hope that some of you will take the time to listen to the whole thing. I know how easy it is to say you don't have time, and I'm guilty of it, too. Just slow down for 45 minutes and give it a shot. Please don't be scared away because it is a sermon from a church! I really love this church and the work they are doing. I hope you'll all take a second (or 45 x 60 seconds) to share this with me.  (If you want to download an audio version to listen to on your commute or while you're enjoying the outdoors, click here and download the Redeem the Time sermon from August 19)

A Day of Perfection

My birthday happened nearly two weeks ago, but I wanted to highlight how perfect it was. And by highlight, I don’t mean in the bragging, look-at-me -it’s-my-birthday sort of way, but in the way where the smallest things, friends and family, made me happiest on the day that is supposedly “mine.”

The day started off like a typical California morning, with sunshine streaming through the glass panes into our family room. Dad was off working, Mom was sleeping in while Colin was likely doing the same. I had the golden ladies all to myself (or was it that they had me all to myself?). Inevitably, Mom awoke and had me and the brother clean the house, get drinks, and finish up all the little things to make the party off right.

But in the afternoon, when everything was readied, four of my closest friends came over, three of them from Colby.

At this point, I wouldn’t be able to describe everything that we talked about (though I could tell you some of the subjects covered: Cal/Stanford, baseball, how Isaac always shows up in a Stanford shirt, etc.), but we talked, played die, drank some beer, ate some dinner and some cake. Mostly, there were smiles and laughter. Sheer perfection, in the California sun.

I can’t quite tell you where I will end up in life, quite specifically what I will be doing (though, I do have a greater idea for that one), but I do know that I want to be surrounded by you all and family.

The difficult part, of course, is that we’ll all be spread out, doing our things, with families/spouses/children/pets. Connections and meet-ups will undoubtedly be more difficult and severely planned (a la Tahoe). But this is still a resolve that I’ve had from graduating Colby: that I want all of you in my life as much as possible.

And maybe that’s why days like August 12^th, 2012, will be forever held in my memory. Because of the simplistic perfection in being with and around my closest friends makes me the happiest.

I just don't understand how this country will keep going

Yesterday, I was driving my mom's car home from a long day of babysitting (makin' the dollaz one diaper at a time), and a story came on NPR. It was part of the national 'All Things Considered' broadcast, and was just a normal story in the midst of other stories.

Here's the story, for those who missed it (Michael, have you discovered the joy of NPR yet? Please tell me you have): http://www.npr.org/2012/08/23/159921428/u-of-colorado-to-students-no-guns-in-dorms-please

The thing is that I just don't understand how this can be another story. Can you imagine sending your 17 or 18 year old off to school far away, only to hear that people can bring GUNS into classrooms? I really do not understand how this is even a debate. Especially with all of the recent tragedies. The fact that the Onion has a fake headline that we haven't had a mass shooting in a week, and then the next day they have to say 'nevermind' because of the Empire State Building shooting?!?!?! http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-celebrates-full-week-without-deadly-mass-sh,29293/

Ah, I don't really have words of wisdom on this subject, just lots of frustration. But Harper's has some great words of wisdom, that shed light on how President Obama tried to be a decent person, and the Republicans pulled this country right to the right wing brink. I highly recommend a thorough read of this article! http://www.harpers.org/archive/2012/09/0084043

-E

Thoughts from the Nuts Chapel Hill Nomad, and a Chapel Hill Resolution

Hey folks,

Two words, one summer: Absolut trip.

In all senses of the two words.

Now it's my turn to get mushy and friend-centric.

It really was refreshing to see you who I saw. After I left, I realized where a lot of my own behaviors since graduation come from. Somehow my stories seem to come out like Kevin (I'm a rookie, so so far they're hit or miss) and I actually ate a piece of sausage while in LA (call me Unclean Bhatti). Recently I've charged like a Golden Michael Retriever toward a loved one. I read slate.com, am becoming excited by economics (to the chagrin of my anthropologist buddies), and throw my hat at the Red Sox when they lose. I have started to hand hug everyone I meet, eat completely vegetarian weeks, and devote myself to enable others in understanding what seems complex.

Over the course of the trip, Kevin's #4 became a reality before my eyes. I really am not who I am without Elise saying that I would get lost on Telegraph Street (which I almost did... or maybe I'm still there O.O), or Kevin laughing (in half joy and half agony) as he watched my partner self-plunk on the first shot of our die game in NH. The pieces of myself that I tossed, hugged, cried, laughed, and iced with you all thrived when I was around you. The times we spent this summer helped me love the symphony of your pieces, and yet continued to create new arias for me to still close my eyes and get hopelessly lost in your music.

There was a saying I used to say when I was abroad in India (and up until recently in my meditation sessions): I am me.


But it's old and needs a replacement, and so it goes now, freshly and with new purpose: I am us.


For all I did not see, you're on the list. Beware: I am lethal with a cell phone, internet access, and excess funds.

Until then, as most of you know, I'm going to be living in Chapel Hill for the next half a year, and I'm going to be busy. I'm moving away from the parental home, taking a part time class in fiction/poetry writing at UNC, working various educational jobs during the week to put money in the bank, and continuing the rootsie/granola-y oral history community activist work at the history research lab I've been working with.

What I will be doing on the side (and only as often as I can): dialogue workshops on social change (getting ordinary people together to talk through their own impressions of social issues, create relationships with others that significantly disagree with their viewpoints, and starting to create coalitions across the board as opposed to with your own allies) both in the community and at my synagogue (about Israel... Oy va voy does my congregation need to start talking Israel), co-leading creative writing workshops at the homeless shelter, aiding two homeless/underemployed Chapel Hillians in helping themselves obtain opportunity and success, and, most importantly, having a buttload of fun. I'm going to write, sing, dance, swim through whatever shakes and shudders if it's what it takes to be merry.

Which brings me to the next portion. Last year I had a goal, but I never wrote it down, and I almost lost my direction. This year I'm going to put it down, publicly. This year, I will put words to further cement my passions, encourage myself to idle away an afternoon, and make music out of the mud bubbles. It won't be complete unless I look back with my hands caked with the dirt and sweat of life and my eyes dead set on unveiling the beauty and justice that this world holds through education, conflict resolution, and underprivileged empowerment.

Last year was for healing. This year is for strengthening.

And next year? I have some clearer grad school leanings. Or perhaps a teaching fellowship is what's tugging at my leg. Community organizing? Abroad social justice? Masters in Fine--ah, f*** it, that tension's for mid-October. I'm here, August 22nd, 2012, and I'm ready to do me.

But, go ahead; try and outdate me. I dare you.

I@mbNuT$


PS: Aldaily led me to this site about the crisis in Psychology/Psychiatry that we all discussed on our way back from Georgia in 2010. Good piece of random bar-conversation: http://lareviewofbooks.org/article.php?type=&id=812&fulltext=1&media=#

Busy August

It's been a busy August for me, as I'm sure it is for you all, and it will be busier for the next two weeks. I'm starting part I of comprehensive exams to be a doctoral candidate today, so I'll be working on that and not blogging here (though there are many topics to be touched on).

However, here's an article that sums up my feelings about the rhetoric that is coming from the Romney campaign:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/romney-and-ryan-are-overlooking-the-underclass/2012/08/13/63e917ea-e579-11e1-8f62-58260e3940a0_story.html?hpid=z2

There are times where I find myself disagreeing with the President, some of his decisions (especially the ones that are purely political a la Afghanistan withdrawal), his handling of the Simpson-Bowles committee (ignoring it, until recently, though it offered a bipartisan plan to help solve some of the budget problems), etc. But there are many more times where I can not sympathize with Romney. This article sums up some of my biggest complaints.

Milestones - part I

First of all: Michael, you were our 100th post! Fitting since you were also the first.

Secondly: http://www.forbes.com/top-colleges/list/
I never know how much I actually care about these listings. Even when I see Colby drop, or when I see us ranked below Bowdoin, I'm still really proud that we're ranked in the top 25 out of the more than 3,000 colleges in the US.

expect part II soonish.