Hello friends! Ahhh, it feels good to finally stretch my fingers in a way that involves me not mindlessly word-vomiting onto a document that I will turn in for a grade. It feels really, really nice to have gotten this term over with, and I sincerely hope that everything will get a little bit better from here on out. My next two terms involve less classes as well as less difficult classes, meaning that I can spend more time at practicum (where I am based at an elementary school) and at my research assistant position (which I mostly enjoy). It’s been a really difficult term, so thank you all for being patient about my inability to reach and contact you. I miss you all—hopefully I will be able to still count you as a friend =)
Speaking of friends, I have had two recent, whirlwind visits from two of the authors of thishere blog (Emma and Elise), which have both prompted some life observations.
Something that I had struggled with all of last year (and to less of an extent, this year) was starting the whole making-new-friends-cause-you’re-in-a-new-place process. An obvious issue with these new friends is a general lack of history that is shared with new people. Gradually, that history will develop over time, especially as you figure out your sense of place.
Another obvious issue is the idea of community (as an aside, I’m starting into Community, the tv show, and all of you would find it hilarious). This sense of community and involvement also gradually develops. But what has been difficult for me, as a result of being in the Eug, is that I am so incredibly used to having a community built around me. My place, and my comfort within a place, has been easier for me to find and enjoy in the past (rather than the present), because I have been going to small schools in small towns for a while. But since I’ve been removed from these (beautiful) places and have been foisted upon the “real world,” community has been hard for me to develop.
Now, part of this is inevitably the result of being in graduate school. It is harder to get involved when the time to get involved has (felt like it has) hardly existed. The counter-argument to this is that time should be made to keep those things that you love in place. But, for me, it is harder to find motivation to do these things when I have other lists of things-to-do to do. (Let it be noted that ultimate, after not playing a lot of it last year, is booked on my Sunday schedule; when soccer is happening, that, too, is booked). Most of the time, it is easier for me to relax by lying in bed and catching up on How I Met Your Mother or other TV shows. Yet despite my poor efforts, I can feel a sense of community growing. I live with a good friend, I see another good friend in a different program on a daily basis, and I feel comfortable with people from a variety of programs in the broader College of Education.
On the other hand, it doesn’t have the same “level” of meaning that my relationships with all of you mean to me. To an extent, most people (here in Oregon) have other priorities: some people have partners, some people have family, and some people have their own business to attend to. I guess my rambling leads me to conclude that I haven’t quite figured it out here and I still miss all of you whole-heartedly.
Naturally, I am inclined to live in the present. This has happened at each of the places where I have had a big transition: middle school, high school, college. Since I’ve been here, I find myself looking more to the past. Is this a healthy thing? I’m not sure yet.
